it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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