Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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