Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize