For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
