wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize