VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
