i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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