do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
