is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
