I wish I could teleport
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
