this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
