I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
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