were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize