Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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