I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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