'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
