i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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