it hurts more in the daytime
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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