imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
