I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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