Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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