I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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