I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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