Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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