He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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