ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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