yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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