Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
