Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
