Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Girls should come with a carfax report
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I need a beard to bite.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
