Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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