I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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