who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
