I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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