Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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