i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
