do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
