Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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