My room smells like vodka and shame
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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