ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
