sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
