if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
