covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
