found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
