I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
His nipple licking is glorious
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