508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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