Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
