You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
