There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
