this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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