whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize