that's an acceptable place to lick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
