things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
