do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
