Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
