Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
