brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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