Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
