Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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