i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
