i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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