Your tits are I can't wait for
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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