dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
