And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
