I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
