Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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