just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
