Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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