I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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