I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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