you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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