Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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