That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
