Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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