i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
