i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Two words: blizzard sex
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