just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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