no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
