so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
