I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we're making bets on your personal life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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