my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
