She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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