I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
